It seems that every other week the local multiplex is hailed by a cavalcade of the same kind of film time after time that fails to do anything really new or step outside the box. Oh look Johny Depp’s being quirky again, how fun! Michael Bay’s making another movie about the journey of explosions across America, awesome. This past month, would seem like yet another rundown “Zombieland” came into town, however it brings to the table one of the most exhilarating and entertaining zombie movie packages that would make Simon Pegg giddy. It’s pure zombie killing, American style. The story is set in what seems like a not-so-distant future where, from what little the story actually does tell, a mad cow like disease has made its way into the minds of the human race and ravaged through the country, leaving only the smartest and strongest to survive, or according to the rules of zombie handbook, those who do the most cardio. In this instance, the 4 most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse include Woody Harrelson’s wildly charismatic and often hilarious portrayal of a violence-scarred zombie slayer, Jessie Eisenburg’s socially awkward  germaphobe, along by Emma Stone’s bad girl rep and Abigail Breslin’s surprisingly hilarious take on a zombie hunter. Each of the cast runs their portion exceptionally, Eisenburg’s character actually being  funny despite my lowest expectations for him. Harrelson however steals the show with some of the best and funniest lines I’ve heard this year in a zombie movie. The whole flick provides those kinds of laughs you’re not sure if you should laugh at or not, while supplying plenty that left the whole theater in stitches. The film stretches over some familiar ground that many like Will Smith and Nick Frost have covered before, however Zombieland takes on a certain brand of imagination with it, and that carries over to make the film a lot more fun to watch. The individuality of the characters, the nice incorporation of the zombie survival tips into the backdrop, not to mention the true audacity of the survivors makes it that much more fun to watch. Also in the same style of cult classics like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland packs in the gore for all it’s worth, ranging from the just enough to get you to marvel, to the scream-in-the-theater-after-the-camera-didn’t-cut-away gross. There’s just enough gore to keep the horror fans happy, while still satisfying the comedy fans with the steady stream of slapstick. Zombieland is short, sweet, and to the point, and doesn’t even come close to overstaying it’s welcome, but kinda cuts short the crazy lust for more outrageous zombie kills. However, for a movie like this, it hits the perfect balance. There’s even plenty of setup for another installment after one of the most awesome zombie showdowns taking place in a particular amusement park. Aside from a little bit of a rushed feel, an a little lack of zombies in the second act, this movie hits all the right notes expertly. The flick is paced, shot, and balanced expertly, but all u need to know is that this is THE one to see this month, and is a thoroughly entertaining piece for any self-respecting fan of slaying the undead, or just anyone looking for a hilariously brutal fun time.

4.5 out of 5

I have seen the likes of Killer Beaz, The Ambassadors, and Brad Montague in concert (I know none of you have heard of any of these guys except DS b/c he took me to Killer Beaz), but now soon I will actually be able to say I’ve seen someone remotely famous in concert. On October 24th I’m heading up to the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN to see Jim Gaffigan, a successful comedian behind clean comedy albums like “Beyond the Pale”, “King Baby”, and “Doin’ My Time”. Gaffigan’s starred in shows like “That’s 70s Show” and does random spots as an extra, along with doing regular work with Conan O’ Brien. His stand up sets have also appeared on Comedy Central, earning him his own hour long special from the “King Baby” set. He’s not the most famous comedian, but his stuff is some of the funniest going around right now, he’s even been called “One of the best stand up comics in the country right now”. According to his personal website, Gaffigan is also very close with his fans and stays after shows to meet and greet with those who paid to see him, along with selling merchandise and old albums. I am totally excited for seeing his performance and cannot wait to get some pics from the trip. Check out  below to get a feel for some of his material.

“It is amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? “What the?… Has someone been kidnapped?””

“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like ‘Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the SOCKS. They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?’”

“I do feel guilty at checkout when they’re bagging all my groceries. Talk about feeling lazy. ‘Hey, thanks for putting my groceries in my bag. Yeah I could help, but I’ll just watch. I’m exhausted from picking that crap out. You wanna come home and watch me eat ‘em? I’m lookin’ for a buddy.’”

“Oh cool, you got me a robe for my birthday-hope i get the flu so i can use it-what am i doing, shooting a porno?”

“I once dated an Asian. She was very Asian. She was a panda…”

“Lifetime, television for women. Yet for some reason women are always getting beaten on that channel.”

“You think when gym teachers were younger, they’re thinking, ‘You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?”

Yea that oughta get your attention. Since DS wrote something I figure’d I’d post something up, and to commemorate the movie I was watching earlier today, I thought I’d post up a well, post about the Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy. The series or “trilogy” of completely unrelated movies is a group of flicks from director Edgar Wright, a Brit who has consistently worked with the likes of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost to produce some of the most entertaining action gore fests. The trilogy gets its name from the common simple fact that the movies are often filled with tons of blood and the main characters eating ice cream, I know how that sounds, simple, but yet it’s not a large factor (the ice cream part) and the whole package comes together superbly. The first film by Wright in the trilogy was 2004’s Shaun of the Dead, a parody of the classic Zombie genre with tons of laughs thrown in for good measure, also catapulting the young career of Simon Pegg into the limelight. The film basically centers around zombies taking over Britain and Simon Pegg, well, killing all of them. In 2007, the group continued with the flick I was watching earlier today, Hot Fuzz, in which Simon Pegg takes center stage in a really boring town where there seems to be a string of murders taking place. Once again in this one he is paired up hilariously with Nick Frost to get several great laughs along with some ridiculously cool action pieces. (The last 50 minutes and special features on the disc are worth $20 alone. The next flick in the set is set to be “The World’s End”. No info has been released for the project yet, however once Wright finishes work on a current television project and Pegg finishes work on Paul, shooting is set to commence. If you’ve never heard or seen any of these great flicks, now is the time to see them. The two released flicks are by far the greatest zombie comedy ever made and one of the best buddy cop movies out there with a fantastic mystery.

Ha! I can do more than movie posts! I’d just like to take out the time to point out my favorite band, and one of the coolest bands around for the past 20-30 years that have been rocking the world, U2. The band is led by philanthropist Bono, The Edge plays Guitar, Larry Mullen Jr. plays drums for the band, and Adam Clayton plays Bass. The band has released numerous albums, most of which are incredible, and need to be checked out by almost everyone. It seems that each of their different albums covers a different style-

• All That You Can’t Leave Behind (Their Best Album)-Rock-Feel
• How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb-Ballad-esque
• Achtung Baby-Pop
• Rattle and Hum-Their Live CD
• Greatest Hits 1980-1990- Their best stuff/CD (naturally)
• No Line on the Horizon-Their newest, a reinvention if you will.

So if you’ve never heard of them, you need to wake up out of your coma, if you have and never given them a chance, check them out, it’ll be worth your time. This band does a ton of stuff for needy causes, especially Bono, and gives a almost alternative/almost rock feel that is really cool. Check em out…

Behold one of the coolest movies ever. Basically if you’re familiar with any of Michel Gondry’s filmmaking work, you’re familiar with some of the most inventive and creative pieces in current film. His work includes the upcoming Green Hornet flick, the very charming Be Kind Rewind, several music videos, and his masterpiece, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you’re not familiar, get familiar. The story follows Jim Carrey’s character (i’m really busy right now and it’s been a while since i watched it), who, quite frankly, is sick of his once-girlfriend (Kate Winslet) not remembering him or anything about their relationship, and is pretty confused on the whole thing. He then discovers she went to a facility where they erase any and all memories you want. So, in retalliation, after an emotionally wrenching few days, he goes to the same facility to delete her from his mind. However, as the memories are being deleted, he begins to relive all of their great times together, and soon realizes the past isn’t as simple as hitting the “delete” key. Jim Carrey is incredible in this as is Elijah Wood, Cameron Diaz, and Kate Winslet. The whole movie has a whimsical style as it goes along with it’s whimsical type of story and trips inside the mind. Keep in mind you cover a lot of ground in the mind, and things can get trippy. However, Gondry, as always, covers things superbly and geniusly. The movie is directed flawlessly and encompasses multiple relevant coinciding plots together to deliver an incredible package with a stunning ending that will only further convince you of this movie’s greatness. So go rent it, buy it, whatever you have to do to experience this gem of a movie.

5 out of 5

Great, now all i write is movie reviews. Oh well, until I can take the time out to update this with some editorials or a snarky comment on a TV Show or video game series, this will just have to do. I quite literally had no idea what to expect in the Quentin Tarantino genre-blend “Inglourious Basterds”, and maybe that’s why i loved it so much, but I guess whatever works, works. The fact of the matter is this is one of the most enjoyable movies i’ve seen in a while, and it’s one i can recommend to almost anyone. You will not enjoy this movie if A) You are made uncomfortable by scalpings or B) If you’re a Nat-zi. Actually, skip the first one, unless you’re a Nat-zi, you’ll love this. The story follows two separate attempts at ending the cruel Natzi power hold of Europe, let’s just say one succeeds. One is led by a Jewish refugee and her african-american lover who just so happen to be owners of a small French theater. The other is Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, and BJ Novak’s group of violence lovin’ Basterds. Ye be warned-this is filled with natzi killin, scalpin’, and murderin’, and it’s so much fun. The main down side of the whole flick is that that it can be incredibly slow in spots, so slow that you’re begging to see Brad’s Aldo Raine show back up to charm the audience with his Tennessee accent or just shoot someone. The performances are spectacular-Brad Pitt’s Aldo Raine is a new classic, he had the entire theater rolling in some of the most serious situations known to cinema. (The theater was laughing and gasping at the bat scene.) The entire flick serves as a perfect genre-blend, mixing comedy, adventure, and a little horror and drama, all the while blending it into a perfect film-noir style that perfectly compliments the setting and time period. Needless to say this is the most fun you’ll ever have at a World War 2 movie. It’s gory, it’s violent as I’ll get out, but it’s undeniable fun and stylish fun at that. Leave the kids and those of weak stomachs at home, and prepare for some good Natzi-killin fun with what just might be “Aldo’s masterpiece…”

4 1/2 out of 5

I do want to post reviews of my new favorites I Love You Man and Inglourious Basterds but for now i’m just gonna post these reviews in miniature form. I also intend to put in an Eternal Sunshine Review and a review of Gamer but that’ll be then. I’m gonna try to start writing my stuff fore-hand that way i’ve already got it ready.

Adventureland-Not quite sure what this was trying to accomplish, but it kind falls flat. It kind of aims for the “coming of age” style that Ferris Bueller and Superbad achieved, but there’s a big difference. The leads in both of those are likeable! The choice to not make this a primary comedy is a missed chance and the fact that all the characters do is moan, gripe, bang eachother and smoke pot, without comedy or some other likeable aspect, is kind of a fail in spite of some wicked great atmosphere and some charm. 3 out of 5

GI Joe-Nothing profound, incredibly stupid, but undeniably fun. About halfway through i release this was nothing short of ridiculous, and just started to have fun with it. The stunts are pretty good and the action fairly paced, but the camp-factor and the fact it’s cheesier than a Wisconsin Family Reunion make this one a little harder to approach for the older or well, wiser. But for those that are willing to turn their brain off and have fun with NINJAS! ACTION! EXPLOSIONS! it’s fun. 3 1/2 out of 5

District 9-The best out of the bunch, District 9 is a sci-fi classic for this generation. Incredible atmosphere, superb performance by Wilkus Van der Wright, and one of the most provocative stories i’ve ever heard makes this one a winner, although the ads can be misleading for the action crowd. There was a little trouble for me finding the right ground for the film-documentary, action, sci-fi, but as far as sci-fi goes, District 9 is by-far a winner. 4 1/2 out of 5

Well as you can tell i haven’t really posted in a while, in fact I’ve been rather addicted to that brand new craze called facebook (it seems all the kids are doin’ it, and they’re trying facebook too (SNAP)). Anywho, i’ve not posted in a while, and probably won’t be as much continuing on this Fall, however I will try to keep up with small updates like this and the weekly movie review or rant on the newest game i’ve been playing. (I’d really like to post my Funny People review, incredible movie.) Basically for now i’m going to do somewhat of a (not so brief) brief recap to let u know what I’ve been into lately and share my opinions on a few current topics that i’ve left unsaid on. This is by no means integrity, however it is just whatever comes to my mind and just a way to say “Hi, i’m here, just to let u know i haven’t forgotten about u”.

• Alright i’m starting a bunch of new dual enrollment courses, that should be fun, hopefully by the time i’ve reached college i’ll be well enough into the swing of things that i won’t be TOTALLY lost and pining for Sr. Harris every 30 minutes. Good thing I have his cellular telly number…
• District 9 performed very well last weekend for being low budget and R rated, just goes to show what great buzz can do. I cannot wait to see it this Friday (will try to post review). Hopefully this means more focus will be shifted to indy directors that have great ideas and less on $300 million “meh” ideas.
• I’ve been hooked on the God of War series, currently on #2, incredible series, the first was literally perfect, best game i’ve ever played, that’s no exaggeration. If you haven’t buy this game for $20 at Gamestop.
• I’ve been renting a lot, and I just got through loving me some I Love You Man and The Soloist, also just bough Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, cannot wait to watch it once i get a breath in.
• I also saw a few new movies in theaters, including GI Joe, which is stupid but very fun and campy popcorn movie and Funny People. Hoping to catch up with some Fall movies coming up here soon.
• Definitely still on a U2 craze, i’ve realized my true music taste and that is not just hard rock, but rock with a message. Something preferrably lighter, maybe alternative as long as it doesn’t fall into the cliche of indie rock. I definitely recommend White Rabbits, James Blunt, and Goo Goo Dolls as of right now.

And that’s about it, i’ll try to keep it up with updates and such, a touch of poor attempts at poor humor, terrible rants, and a review here and there of the rants you’ve come to know and love.

With the release of Funny People in the past weekend (full review coming soon), I figured I would take the time to designate the best of the best, the cream of the crop in the slew of movies that he calls his own in the recent trend of r-rated adult comedies. Over the years I’ve become a bigger fan of his work compared to at first being an un-fan of him. If you take a look at his full filmography, whether it was being involved as a writer, producer, or his three instances of director (all of which are under consideration), he’s had quite a bit of influence. This is one funny guy.

1. Funny People-I picked this one for his #1 mainly b/c 1) I never really believed he had hit this mature or bold a statement in his movies before aside from Knocked Up while combining some really great comedy and 2) This one really gives you an inside look at the people behind the laughter, the world of stand up. Up until this movie I had no idea Adam Sandler could join these ranks.
2. The Pineapple Express-Even though Apatow didn’t direct this one, the nice blend of comedy and dark action made this one a winner to me.
3. Forgetting Sarah Marshall-This one proved to me that Jason Segal and Bill Hader are worthy members of the team. Elle from Heroes is in it, and it’s probably one of the funniest of the group.
4. Knocked Up-The other of the three that Judd Apatow actually directed, this one has a really sweet charm, and I really took a liking to it.
5. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy-Will Ferrel really should do more character work with Judd Apatow, this comedy chronicling 1970s news journalism is a classic.
6. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby-Living in the South, this one’s a cult classic here. If only a lot of these guys and girls could see the rest of these movies. Still, this one’s hilarious and has plenty of quotable lines.
7. Step Brothers-A Comedy concept formed in Heaven, a pairing of Will Ferrel and John C Reilly brings the serious laughs.
8. Heavyweights-Disney actually made this one. This is a classic from when I was a kid that had the production handiwork from the current comedy king.
9. Superbad-Jonah Hill’s first starring role, this could be considered a hard r look at the teenage party life and a really funny one at that.
10. Drillbit Taylor-Owen Wilson’s run in the group may not have been as successful, but it was still worth the watch as a more family oriented Apatow faire.

Okay I’ll pretty much come out and say it. This is one of my insane ramblings where I pretty much just took something mundane and over thought it to where I thought it was funny. We’ve all had this situation before, we’re in a theater, and we’re given a nice, cushioned arm rest to our left and to our right. However whether it’s opening night of the newest Harry Potter flick you just love so much or a group trip where everyone is forced to sit together, the question may often arise: Who is entitled to which Armrest? Well, I have developed a science of the armrest, and long-awaited answers to who owns which said armrest in a variety of situations.

A) Sitting by Yourself-Well good sir or mam, this is your perfect solution to being horribly lonely on your Monday night man-trip in an empty theater. You have the privilege of using the armrest on your right or on your left. You can lean to one side or the right, prop your feet up on the front seat’s cupholder, or hey, you can use that handicap rail as your own personal storage facility for the next 2 1/2 hours. So sit back, relax, the theater is yours to enjoy.

B) Sitting with Someone to Your Right or Left-This can be either a very simple or devilishly complicated procedure. Now, unless you two are swooning sweethearts, the same armrest cannot be shared by the two of you. Consider that the holy covenant of marriage as far as armrests go. Now, if it is just you and some other person, let’s say it’s your BFF or your bro (because real men don’t say BFF), you will need to work as a team (before or during the movie) to coordinate your armrest use. If one of you is experiencing an extreme case of B.O., the guy on the left may lean to the armrest on his left, and the other to his right. However, if both of you are in the same hygienic status, it is fairly simple to coordinate-either lean away, or both to the right or both to the left.

C) Sitting with a Group-Now, this procedure usually follows the procedure of sitting with two people, you can simply upgrade it to three or whatever the number may be. But let’s say you have some rebels within your group… If so, then that person inside the middle seat is entitled to whichever armrest they want, and then those to their left or right must adapt to the other’s decision. All that’s needed is a close attention paid to your surroundings, and to your surrounding movie goers. If you’re not careful, you might permanently damage some relationships. However, if you simply don’t have time to work out the differences and are afraid of that strange, awkward silence that comes when two arms try to inhabit the same space, you might just end up in an elbow fight wrestling match. For those that wanna have a simpler experience, everyone can simply set up a system to which everyone goes to one side, and then when that arm gets tired, everyone switches to the other side. Perfect experience for the synchronized swim team’s trip to go see the new Pirates of the Caribbean.

Of course, you could just not use armrests. But then again why would you do that?