Top Headlines of April 1st, 2008

April 1, 2008 at 3:40 pm (Weapons of Mass Enjoyment)

  • Nintendo and Sony have decided to put aside their differences and make the Nintenstation, which will catalog all of their titles with motion sensitivity. The console will run you $700 and will release next year.
  • Heroes will be returning earlier than expected on July 17th, 2008, where they will showcase a new storyline where Peter and Nathan learn of their other brother, Hiro.
  • The next installment in Super Smash Bros has been confirmed as Super Smash Bros. Millennium, as in that it will be the year 3000 before it’s release.
  • The Ipod Miniscule, now the world’s smallest MP4 Device, will be exactly 1 millimeter by 1 centimeter long. It will be able to hold 500 GB worth of music for those who have more music on their computer than anything else.
  • North Dakota and South Dakota, along with East and West Virginia, have not only put aside their differences as Dakotas and Virginias, but have just decided to become one big Virgikota.
  • New evidence has shown that Chuck Norris was one of the founding fathers. After looking at the back of the Declaration of Independence, it was discovered they just allowed him to write his name there over the entire back of the document.
  • A new Super Mario Bros. movie, entitled Super Mario Bros. 2, has been confirmed as in post-production. The movie will not have anything to do with Super Mario Bros..
  • The second expansion to Guitar Hero 3, Guitar Hero Mozart, will be released this summer for all consoles.
  • Patrick Warburton, voice actor of (too many) children’s movies, has retired from Voice Acting. He leaves behind him 1,365, 779, 223, 555, 234, 156, 000 performances in just television.
  • The mystery comedy Monk on USA Network has been granted the first permit to air new episodes for the rest of forever.




  1. dragonshensei said,

    Ha ha ha ha.

  2. dragonshensei said,

    Oh and don’t forget. Earl won the girl of his dreams by defeating her boyfriend in combat.

  3. nolanator said,

    Guitar Hero Mozart will be awesome!

  4. earl said,

    Ha ha ha ha ha HA! So funny DS, in fact, that’s hilarious. In combat…(Daydream)…there would have to be really big que-tips.

    By the way, I hope you know Nolanator this was a joke post.

  5. nolanator said,

    Yes I know that earl. I not retarded, a little slow but not retarded.

  6. The James said,

    Gosh, It took me to the third one to figure out that this was a joke. (But it is April 2nd now! I thought you had written this today!)

    Love this post man! Best thing I have read in a long time!

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