The Office Quotes 7

August 8, 2008 at 8:06 pm (Quotes, Television)

I know it’s been a while, however here are some more classic quotes taken from the wonderful dialogue of The Office.

Michael: The Jamaicans don’t have a word for “impossible.”
Jim: Yep, it’s English. It’s “impossible.”

Andy : Five of us transferred from Stamford. There’s two of us left. Me, and Karen. It’s like we’re touring Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory and dropping off one by one. Well, guess what. I‘m not falling in a chocolate river.

Michael: Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice… strike three.

Michael: I want you to think about it long and hard.
Dwight: That’s what she said.
Michael: (in a low voice) Don’t you dare.

Andy: Oompa loompa, doompadee dawesome, Dwight is now gone, which is totally awesome. Why was he gone, he was such a nice guy. No, he was not, he was a total douche. Doompadee doom.

Jim: I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.

Michael: Yesterday I was scraping some gunk off my wall sockets with a metal fork and I gave myself the nastiest shock. When I came to, I had an epiphery. Life is precious and if I die, I want my son to know the dealio. The dealio of life.

Michael: So I am instituting “prima nocte.”
Jim: [talking head] “Prima nocte”, I believe from the movie Braveheart and confirmed on Wikipedia, is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So…
Michael: I’m sorry, I had a very different understanding as to what “prima nocte” meant.

Michael: Guys! Beef: it’s what’s for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.

Ryan: Michael, is this the same grill you grilled your foot on?
Michael: No…..Yes.
Ryan: Oh Gross! That’s really disgusting.
Michael: Don’t worry, I scraped all the foot off!

Michael: Phyllis, did you break wind?

Dwight: I saw “Wedding Crashers” accidentally. I bought a ticket for “Grizzly Man” and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cause that’s the thing about bear attacks…they come when you least expect it.

Michael: Phyllis and Bob — their celebrity couple name would be “Phlob.”

Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. [pause] Really ruined eighth grade for us.

Michael: What’s the most inspiring thing I ever said to you?
Dwight: “Don’t be an idiot.” Changed my life.

Kelly: Don’t kill it, Creed. Bats are animals with feelings and families.
Creed: Animals don’t feel pain.
[bat flies out]
Kelly: OH MY GOD! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!

Dwight: I dont have much experience with vampires. I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbors dog.

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2 Comments

  1. twisted dragonshensei said,

    Never watched the office.Probably never will. Looks too boring for my taste.

  2. earlman27 said,

    It’s not boring. It’s like a documentary that’s super hilarious. Give it a try.

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