You Don’t Mess with the Zohan Review

November 14, 2008 at 8:54 pm (Movies)

Well… what to say… for starters, I’m never listening to DS’s recommendation of movies ever ever again. I remember previewing this little jessie back in January, and saying “Well, this movie looks really good and really funny.” I was oh so wrong. I might have laughed twice during this movie. I remember what both of those jokes were. Neither were at Adam Sandler. One was at a taxi gag which didn’t even make sense directed at Palestinians, the other was Kevin James’ cameo. For the rest of the movie I was silent, either looking around the room, sighing, rolling my eyes, or checking to see if the movie was almost over. The premise is basically that a commando named Zohan comes to the US to cut hair, and is chased by other incredibly offensive characters trying to kill him. The box said comedy, but I honestly didn’t know what this was. I mean, I can see how you might like this movie, if you like really really dumb comedy. I like dumb comedy sometimes, but it just gets to the point where my brain says “Wait… why should this be funny?” I felt like that one Family Guy sketch with the BC comic strip. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s fine. I was literally relieved when Kevin James appeared on screen. It was like “What’s this? A hacky sack tournament? OH LOOK! KEVIN JAMES!!! RESCUE ME!!!” If you like past, original Adam Sandler movies like Happy Gilmore, you’ll hate this. If you liked The Waterboy, you’ll hate this. Because unlike this movie, those movies are funny, and don’t show either Adam Sandler’s butt continuously over a 2 minute period or other elderly women’s rear ends. They actually make jokes that you can really laugh at without being ashamed. What’s funnier? Happy Gilmore getting beaten up by Bob Barker, or Adam Sandler’s wang waving goodbye? To be honest, I was continuously sighing through this movie, every single time we saw his tush, every time they made some derogatory comment to Arabs, every single time Sandler had intercourse or aroused some senior citizen, I was just flabbergasted at how ridiculous the movie was. I also wanted John Turturro to die. You may be saying, have some fun, but I enjoy comedies with actual humor. You might like this movie, you might, if you REALLY REALLY like Sandler, or you enjoy movies that you have to have the IQ of a rock to understand completely and fully. I really can’t think of anything positive about this movie, besides some occasional funny action gags, and an appearance by Kevin James. Unless you have nothing else to do on a Friday night, I would suggest not messing with the Zohan. 

1 1/2 out of 5



  1. dragonshensi said,

    You have no taste in movies. I can see why you didn’t like this though, it was a romance or a movie that makes you cry. Lord knows you love to cry in movies.

  2. nolanator said,

    I can’t understand how you didn’t like this movie.

  3. earlman27 said,

    It just wasn’t funny. I love comedies like Planes Trains and Automobiles, Bruce Almighty, Blues Brothers, etc, all because they have one thing in common-they’re actually funny. I have taste in movies, I just don’t like incredibly dumb movies like this.

  4. Iggy said,

    Started watching this with Babcom, we cut it off halfway.
    Adam Sandler really made an unfortunate choice with this movie.
    This movie made sex with the elderly unfunny.

  5. dragonshensi said,

    It wasn’t the best movie in the world I’ll give you that. But I think it deserves a better rating than this. It was better than that crap American Carol.

  6. earlman27 said,

    It wasn’t a funny movie. I gave it a 1 1/2, and I think it deserves just that. All movies on my scale start on a 3, they can either do good and go up, or do bad and go down. This one was awful, and did nothing to help itself. The constant agonizing sexual jokes and innuendos brought it down a 1/2 point, the intolerable bad accents brought 1/2 a point, and then the fact that it wasn’t funny brought it down another 1/2.

    I really think it was a lot worse than American Carol. No offense, but I just really thought this movie was a piece of garbage.

  7. earlman27 said,

    This is also kinda like our disagreements on Dan in Real Life. I loved it, thought it was funny and charming, you thought it was junk.

  8. nolanator said,

    I guess me and DS are the only ones who care for this movie.

  9. earlman27 said,

    I guess you are.

  10. dragonshensi said,

    shutup Earl, don’t have to be rude.

  11. earlman27 said,

    You shouldn’t talk DS. You’re the one who preaches “I tell it like it is”, but when I just make a little comment I didn’t even mean to be rude, you fly off the handle.

  12. The James said,

    This movie looks like crap because it is!

  13. dragonshensi said,

    James, you’ve never seen the movie so you don’t have any say.

  14. The James said,

    I have never seen it cause I could tell from the previews that it would suck, and it would seem as thought I was right.

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