My Top Ten Gripes/Thankfullities

November 30, 2008 at 7:41 pm (Top Ten, Weapons of Mass Enjoyment)

  Yea, I know, it’s a little late. Thanksgiving was last Thursday, but I was rather busy during those few days and never got around to doing a real Thankful post. So I decided I would do one now before December starts. By the way, Happy December everybody. I thought it would be fun to list my top ten gripes in life, and then, to round things out on a cheery note, list my top ten things I’m thankful for. 

10. The (Insert Genre Here)–Movie Doofs that keep cranking out these atrocious movies that only 13 yr old teenagers and people with horrible conceptions of comedy go to see. The only purposes these movies serve are to be the pimple on cinema’s butt.

9. The people at Wal-mart that either break the accessories to the games on purpose (I ought to punch you in your groin) or the little ones that don’t know what they’re doing, and then when I try to help and take over, their parents get mad at me. Listen bro, I’m trying to get your copy of Wario Land Shake It to work!

8.  My DVR when it doesn’t record the right programming, or when it refuses to comply with my demands. WORK MACHINERY

7. AC/DC-To be honest, it’s in part the band. But it’s also ESPN’s over playing of their songs. Every single football montage is either AC DC’s “For Those About to Rock We Salute You”, “Iron Man”, or “Back in Black”. Also, why is it that the football commentators look like they could either play football or take a cup of steroids.

6. Doofs that don’t know how to drive safely and responsibly

5. People that don’t understand certain elements of humor

4. CERTAIN TEENAGERS or just teenagers in high school in general unwilling to learn that won’t shut their traps and listen.

3. These people that go to die-in restaurants and leave huge messes on their tables, leave their chairs sprawled out all over the place, or act all rude when they come up to pay their cashier. I work in a store like this, and it really ticks me off.

2. These people that sit through movies texting, chatting away, or laughing some loudly I can’t hear or pay attention to the movie, I’m so distracting by them. Both Duct tape and morning showings were designed for you people.

1. I’ll go ahead and say it. Airheads. Girls that go around OMG!!! MY BFF JUST TEXTED ME! DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE WAS WEARING TODAY!!! OH MY GAAA!!! Reading? Who needs knowledge when I can coast through life with looks and marry some rich guy? Okay, don’t think I’m singling out cheerleaders, or popular girls. I’ve met both, some are really cool, some aren’t. I like intelligent conversations without every 4 seconds having to be me explaining what the word “and” means. I like girls with intelligence, looks come in second. If you’re the pretty girl with a brain the size of a walnut, I don’t hate you by any means, I just don’t like you near as much as the pretty girl who’s smarter than me. 

Top Ten Things I’m Thankful For-

10. Morgan Freeman

9. ITunes’ extensive library

8. The morning paper

7. Great Talent in TV, Movies, and Video Games

6. My opportunities in school

5. The excellent cooking talent in my family

4. The Christmas Season

3. I am surrounded by excellent sources of humor around me that give me a mouthful of laughs every day. I’m not funny, but I sure am around some hilarious people.

2. My wonderful community of family and friends that support me each and every day. 

1. My Heavenly Father whom I have to thank for all of this. 

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8 Comments

  1. The James said,

    1) I would like to point out that you said “die-in restaurants” it was rather funny.
    2) “Great Talent in TV, Movies, and Video GamesGreat Talent in TV, Movies, and Video Games” – Being able to beat me in video games does not make you talented, it just makes you less pathetic than me.
    3) “My wonderful community of family and friends that support me each and every day.” Thank you, and same to you…assuming of cource that that includes me.
    4)“The excellent cooking talent in my family” My granny could beat your granny!

  2. nolanator said,

    I agree with you on SOME of those things.

  3. dragonshensi said,

    There’s a find line between humor and your humor. Like regular humor is funny. Your humor is lame and not funny 95% of the time. When you make those lame heroes reference jokes you expect people to laugh?1:Most peopledon’t watch Heroes.2:I watch heroes and I still think those jokes are lame.
    I might agree with ya if you were a funny man.

  4. The James said,

    He never said he was funny, he said his friends were funny and that he was thankfull for our comedy

  5. nolanator said,

    I know one thing that’s always funny

    “That’s What She Said!”

  6. earlman27 said,

    It sure is. A good “That’s what she said” in a random, unexpected, and normal conversation can be hilarious. One every 10 seconds isn’t as funny though.

  7. dragonshensi said,

    Steven!

  8. nolanator said,

    That’s true earl.

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