My (Near-Miss) Stand Against Tobacco

January 10, 2009 at 9:08 pm (Weapons of Mass Enjoyment, Well That Was Cool)

As those of you that are around me a lot might know, I’m a cashier at the local gas station/convenience store/deli in my hometown. Well, recently my boss had been coming to me, telling me that recently we had been busted for selling cigarettes to underage kids (not me), and that sometime within the next few weeks or months at an unknown time, a surveyor would be coming. I pictured this surveyor as some dude sitting at a table, watching me to make sure I didn’t mess up. Well today, I was wrapping up my 7 hour shift, about to head out the door, but had to take care of a few customers while my replacement was preparing for her shift.

As I’m standing up there, this girl, couldn’t have been older than 25, comes in. The general rule at work was to ID if they looked younger than 26. She’s also wearing this MTSU (Middle Tennessee State University) Sweatshirt. She asks for a pack of Marlboro Lights, and as I’m placing them on the counter, I start to think about whether to ID her. She looked young enough to constitute an ID, but then again, she’s wearing a MTSU sweatshirt. I started to not ID her, but since my boss was in the back, I go ahead and ask. I say “Ma’am, could I go ahead and see your ID? I know you’re wearing a MTSU sweat, but y’know…..” She takes a look at me, and says “Congratulations, you passed.” I’m just looking around, totally confused. She says “I work for the office of Phillip Morris, and we’re the surveyors for the selling of tobacco products to minors, and you passed! You did exactly what you were to do! Great Job!” She hands me this card, takes my name, and walks out. 

First thing I thought was “I wonder if she had cards that said ‘YOU FAIL’ on them.” The other thing I thought was “HOLY COW I GOTTA SHOW MY BOSS!!!” I ran back there and showed it off, I was so happy. Now we have that card taped up on the wall with the words “WE PASSED, GREAT JOB JAKE” wrote on the front. I better get a pay increase this week.



  1. The James said,

    don’t expect the pay increase

  2. The James said,

    but good job though! Whish I was there, sounds like it would have been somewhat entertaining.

  3. nolanator said,

    Good post.

  4. earlman27 said,

    Thanks man, even though I do hope for maybe a little bonus in a paycheck, I mean I saved the store $500!

  5. james said,

    Keep in mind, the store where you work overcharges for everything. By a lot, too! Plus they don’t give their employeeys any real benifits (where are the free [or discounted] chips?!) I can’t imagine them giving a bounus for anything. You could have disarmed a team of robber/asonists who whised to rob the store then burned it down, and I would not expect anything extra out of them…the owner of the store is cheap…like mr. krabs!

  6. earlman27 said,

    I wasn’t really seriously considering a bonus or anything, I thought it would be nice though. My boss didn’t even really notice it.

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