I have seen the likes of Killer Beaz, The Ambassadors, and Brad Montague in concert (I know none of you have heard of any of these guys except DS b/c he took me to Killer Beaz), but now soon I will actually be able to say I’ve seen someone remotely famous in concert. On October 24th I’m heading up to the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN to see Jim Gaffigan, a successful comedian behind clean comedy albums like “Beyond the Pale”, “King Baby”, and “Doin’ My Time”. Gaffigan’s starred in shows like “That’s 70s Show” and does random spots as an extra, along with doing regular work with Conan O’ Brien. His stand up sets have also appeared on Comedy Central, earning him his own hour long special from the “King Baby” set. He’s not the most famous comedian, but his stuff is some of the funniest going around right now, he’s even been called “One of the best stand up comics in the country right now”. According to his personal website, Gaffigan is also very close with his fans and stays after shows to meet and greet with those who paid to see him, along with selling merchandise and old albums. I am totally excited for seeing his performance and cannot wait to get some pics from the trip. Check out below to get a feel for some of his material.
“It is amazing how email has changed our lives. You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? “What the?… Has someone been kidnapped?””
“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like ‘Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the SOCKS. They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?'”
“I do feel guilty at checkout when they’re bagging all my groceries. Talk about feeling lazy. ‘Hey, thanks for putting my groceries in my bag. Yeah I could help, but I’ll just watch. I’m exhausted from picking that crap out. You wanna come home and watch me eat ‘em? I’m lookin’ for a buddy.'”
“Oh cool, you got me a robe for my birthday-hope i get the flu so i can use it-what am i doing, shooting a porno?”
“I once dated an Asian. She was very Asian. She was a panda…”
“Lifetime, television for women. Yet for some reason women are always getting beaten on that channel.”
“You think when gym teachers were younger, they’re thinking, ‘You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?”
Something that I, DS, and even Meredith have been doing over the past few weeks has been quoting the new, must-see-if-you’ve-read-the-book Watchmen, from visionary director Zack Snyder. (Man I was so sick and tired of hearing that and having it blown into my ears every time I watched American Idol….. I mean wrestling.) The movie is infinitely quotable (we’ve deemed it the new TDK), and here are a few samples of it’s quoty-greatness.
Edward Blake/The Comedian-
- Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.
- Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. Pregnant woman. Gunned her down. Bang. And y’know what? You watched me. You coulda changed the gun into steam or the bullets into mercury or the bottle into snowflakes! You coulda teleported either of us to goddamn Australia…but you didn’t lift a finger! You don’t really give a damn about human beings. I’ve watched you. You never cared about whatsername, Janey Slater, even before you ditched her. Soon you won’t be interested in Sally Jupiter’s little girl, either. You’re driftin’ outta touch, Doc. You’re turnin’ into a flake.
- God help us all.
- It don’t matter squat because inside thirty years the nukes are gonna be flyin’ like maybugs…and then Ozzy here is gonna be the smartest man on the cinder. Now, pardon me, but I got an appointment. See you in the funny papers.
- Do it? Dan, I’m not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I’d explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.
- [after Nite Owl asks what he would have done if his hired assassin had shot him first] I suppose I’d have had to catch the bullet, wouldn’t I?[smirks]
- [Tearfully]I did it…I DID IT!
- An intractable problem can only be resolved by stepping beyond conventional solutions.
Daniel Dreiburg/Nite Owl II-
- (Reacting to an insult from Rorschach) Who the hell do you think you are? You live off people while insulting them, nobody complains because they think you’re a goddamned lunatic… Do you know how hard it is being your friend?
Jon Osterman/Dr. Manhattan-
- She says I am like a god now. I tell her I don’t think there is a god. And if there is I’m nothing like him.
- I’ve walked across the sun. I’ve seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at all, but you… you are a man. And this world’s smartest man means no more to me than does its smartest termite.
- We’re all puppets, Laurie. I’m just a puppet who can see the strings.
- A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there’s no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?
- This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.
- Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many?Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution … and there is so little time.
- News vendor: “I see the world didn’t end yesterday.” Kovacs: “Are you sure?”
- (Asked to look at an inkblot test and tell what he sees, he pictures a dog with its forehead sliced open) A pretty butterfly.
- None of you understand. I’m not locked up in here with you. You’re locked up in here with me.
- (Recollecting killing a dog who was chewing on the bone of a kidnapped girl) Shock of impact ran along my arm. Jet of warmth spattered on chest, like hot faucet. It was Kovacs who said “Mother” then, muffled under latex. It was Kovacs who closed his eyes. It was Rorschach who opened them again.
- Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night. Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world. Was Rorschach. Does that answer your questions, Doctor?
- Heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says “Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says “But, doctor…I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. Fade to black.
- (In Rorschach’s Journal) Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.” They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day’s work for a day’s pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn’t realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don’t tell me they didn’t have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloodly Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers… and all of a sudden nobody can’t think of anything to say.
(There are plenty of other great Rorschach quotes I cut out to save space that are worthy of a check.)
- Edgar Jacobi: Heh. Well, you know that kind of cancer that you get better from eventually?
- Rorschach: Yes.
- Edgar Jacobi: Well, that ain’t the kind of cancer I got.
It’s been claimed the most celebrated graphic novel of all time… Proclaimed by many as one of the greatest pieces of American literature… and thanks to a very generous $25 Books A Million Gift Card, I’ve read it. Watchmen is the super heroic tale of a band of washed up, retired superheroes coming to their own ways to unravel a mystery behind The Comedian’s death, a string of “picked off costumed heroes” and to save the world from tearing itself apart. Believe me, these aren’t your nursing home retired superheroes, these guys can still kick your butt 3 times over, all in a few minutes. This also isn’t your average children’s comic. The gritty tale is told harshly, coldly, and without mercy, leaving you on the edge of your seat. The story focuses around the events of several ex-superheroes, including the two generations of the Night Owl (the Batman of the group) and Silk Spectres, Rorshach (The Lone Detective), Dr. Manhattan (A God-like figure), Ozymondias (The World’s Smartest Man), and their previous generations. The story is set in a 1980s cold war era, which serves as a great proving ground for a lot of the bigger issues-humanity, war, self-righteousness, god complexes, right and wrong, and so much more. The story is very gritty, very language and violence filled, so keep the kids away. The art style in the book is also very vibrant, pertaining a lot to stand out colors like yellows, greens, and purples that make the pages really jump out. Only thing that left me disappointed though was the ending, which felt almost anticlimactic. They build up this huge end-of-the-world revelation, and it kinda just bails out. Plus, the adult themes can get pretty intense at times. I had heard so many times that this is a must read for all comic fans, and after reading it, I can faithfully say it as well. If you are a fan of comics, you should at least give this one a read. You can get it at BAM for less than $20, it’s totally worth it. For the amount of deep, incredibly thought out story and mythology, and the wonderful colors and dialogue, this deserves to be on any die-hard comic fan’s bookshelf.
4 1/2 out of 5
I first saw the epic trailer for the upcoming superhero crime story movie adaptation, Watchmen, when I went to go see The Dark Knight. I immediately thought, “Hey, this looks like a pretty sweet movie, I should probably check out the graphic novel”. Considering I only read graphic novels and comics, and haven’t read a book without pictures in years, it was a perfect fit. Last Friday, after seeing Paul Blart, I decided to use one of my BAM gift cards (my family knows I’m a nerd) to get this acclaimed novel, and so far, I’m very glad I did. I’m only about 4 or 5 chapters into the novel out of around 13 chapters, and already the story is incredibly absorbing. So many characters, intricacies, plot twists, incredible moments, this novel definitely lives up to its name. It’s also really interesting to see how Snyder has exactly replicated some of the pivotal moments in the novel. Also, as warned by my Spanish teacher, this is a very adult story. Sex, rape, brutal, haneuous murder, war, lost loves, adultery, and more litter this novel. Definitely not for the kids, but definitely a great read for the elder comic fans. If Mr. Snyder follows the novel like he says, I can totally see how the movie would gain it’s R rating. Each character is well thought out. You’ve got the world-weary, all-knowing Dr. Manhattan, the two new lineages of the Silver Spectre and Night Owl, the insane Rorshach, Ozymondias, the world’s smartest man, Mr. Metropolis, the late, corrupt Comedian, among others that joined their ranks in the beginning as “minutemen”. As far as a favorite goes, Rorshach’s violent and comedic ways have emerged as a quick favoritism. If you haven’t read this great novel, definitely give it a try. Or, if you see me on a regular basis, I’d be more than happy to lend it to you in a few months. I look forward to finishing the novel, and maybe even seeing the movie in theaters.
Browsing around for some new vids for my Itunes, I found some great new comedians to share with all of you. I’ve already converted DS to the stylings of Jeff Dunham, now all the rest of you are to undergo your conversion. Below are some samples of 3 of my new favorite comedians-Jim Gaffigan’s routine about hot pockets, his set on cake, and Jeff Dunham’s set with Ackhmed the Dead Terrorist, along with his routine with Walter.
After The Long Halloween, several questions were left unanswered, and there had to be a sequel to put an end to the crime families, take care of the loose villains, and further explore Batman’s inner self, his inner psychology. That graphic novel is Batman: Dark Victory. The story takes place directly after the events of The Long Halloween, in which Alberto Falcone had been convicted of the Holiday killings. Harvey Dent is also on the loose somewhere in the streets of Arkham, and all of the mob families are after him. To make things better, there’s a new serial killer on the run, “The Hangman, who gets his name by hanging his victims, all Gotham City Cops. The only real problem I had with Dark Victory was that it referenced The Long Halloween a lot. They almost use it as a structure for the new story. My favorite comic artist, Tim Sale, who also does the artwork for Heroes, does a great job in this one with some wonderful depictions of Poison Ivy, Solomon Grundy, The Joker, and Mr. Freeze. A really cool thing that he does with the art style is that he accentuates certain characteristics of certain characters. For example, in the Joker he accentuates the smile, the sleek demeanor, the way he carries himself. In Poison Ivy they show off her plant physique and vines. Some won’t like it, but those looking for different looks will find favor in it. Jeph Loeb also does a wonderful job telling a compelling and interesting story. As in The Long Halloween there’s a serial killer that noone can figure out, and the final verdict is something I didn’t even think about, however made perfect sense. Which is what makes great mysteries worth sticking in for. Robin is also introduced into this storyline, which, even though it felt forced to me, made Robin seem like a thought provoking character. If you enjoyed The Long Halloween, Dark Victory without question is a must read just to finish the story. Even if you’re just a regular comic book or Batman fan, I highly recommend the “The Long Halloween/Dark Victory” story arch.
4 out of 5
One of my favorite comic sets was Heroes: Volume 1, which helped explain some of the back stories and hidden motives from the first season. Even though these jessies premiere online, they also premiere in comic form months later. I’m a traditional comic guy, so the announcement of the second collection gets my nerd senses tingling. The new collection will be 272 pages long, about as long as the first, and will include the novels “Flying Blind”, showing the back story of West Rosen, through “The Kill Squad parts 1, 2, and 3”, telling us the story of Ted Sprague’s brother-in-law’s involvement in the company. I am totally looking forward to this and other graphic novels to come out later this year. Below is the awesome cover art (although may not be final) of the set. *Note-that is the front and the back. (It’s official-I’m a DC comic guy.)
This is a little series I’d like to do, taking a look at all the villains people are rumoring to be the next Batman villain, and my thoughts on how they could be realistically brought into Nolan’s world. If you have any suggestions for the next villain, feel free to let me know.
The first villain needed to look at is The Riddler, a.k.a Edward Nigma. Nigma is a lover of puzzles, and is obsessed with them. His interpersonal psyche is ruled by riddles. When ever he has the upper hand over a foe, he can’t simply defeat them then and there, he has to present them with a riddle, and see if they can escape it. As a young boy Nigma is challenged by a teacher to solve a riddle. He is so determined he sneaks into the school and memorizes the answer. He wins the prize for the contest, a book of riddles. He then goes on to work at a carnival, tricking passers with his riddles of wit. He eventually decides to go against Batman as he sees him as a worthy opponent and adversary to his puzzles and questions. The Riddler put Batman in several deathtraps in comics, Batman always escaping somehow. Riddler is a strategist, and prides himself trying to outsmart others with his riddles. The premise of this character is very possible for Nolan to tap into, and to ground in realism. Make the Riddler a lover of puzzles, and bring him in to challenge Batman’s intelligence and try to outsmart him, possibly catch him. But eventually Nigma goes insane with trying to outsmart him, and becomes the suited madman. As far as who would play him, I would really like to see someone other than Johny Depp do it. Someone riskier. I’d like to see someone zany like Gene Wilder or I could see someone who fit the physical bill like David Anders or Anthony Micheal Hall, maybe even Hugh Laurie play the puzzle maniac. Feel free to share your thoughts, rebuttles, support, or comments.
Ever since The Dark Knight I have had an increasing interest on the Batman universe. I had been shopping around for some Batman comics recently, and one that had stuck out was “The Long Halloween”, and not only was it a Batman comic, it was illustrated by Tim Sale, the man behind several of the paintings from Mendez on Heroes. The Long Halloween follows the story of Batman/Bruce Wayne, District Attorney Harvey Dent, and Lieutenant Gordon trying to rid Gotham City of the infamous “Holiday” killer, who is picking off members of Gotham’s mob one by one on major holidays. The entire comic takes on this epic crime story feel to it, with Batman and the gang becoming desperate for answers to the murders taking place. For those who loved The Dark Knight, The Long Halloween will be especially welcomed since TDK was inspired largely by this comic. Even though the main antagonists and crimes in this graphic novel are those of the regular breed, this novel contains to shortage of Batman’s classic foes. Mad Hatter, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Catwoman, the Riddler, the Penguin, Two Face, and even the Joker make an appearance in this nearly 400 page epic tale of crime. The artwork in this bad boy is actually very good, fans of Heroes will enjoy the distinct style provided by Tim Sale and Jeph Loeb (also from Heroes). The story in this graphic novel has plenty of twists and turns, plenty of exciting moments, and a plethora of Bat-action, along with some classic well-known character revelations that will make the pages turn themselves. All in all, if you loved The Dark Knight like I did, want even more Batman to read on a Friday night that will last on up through the weekend, or just want a great comic, The Long Halloween is definitely a great read for all the Bat-nerds out there. This is actually first in a series, so I will definitely be checking out the next two.
Well, I told you after my review of Iron Man that there would be another one of these later, after I had been able to see some of the other superhero offerings. Now that I have, I am ready to do a second edition. It’s also worth noting that next year there could be another one of these after some prequels if you know what I mean. I might also revise this and republish it after The Incredible Hulk comes on DVD.
- The Dark Knight
- Iron Man
- Spiderman 2
- Batman Begins
- Spiderman 1
- Spiderman 3
- Batman (1989)
- X Men 3: The Last Stand
- Fantastic Four
Yes, I know, Nolan did a post just like this. I don’t know if you guys are gonna attack me over this, but instead of attacking me, just let me know if this offends you in some way or if you’d rather not see it up, and I will take it down if you’re request is sound. Thanks.
In the world of Comics, movies based on comics, and television shows based on comics, there are a lot of superheroes that come through to save the day, however, there are also often times just as many super villains trying to thwart them. Here is my list, along with explanations, of my top ten favorite super villains. *Remember all avid comic readers, I don’t read too many comics, a lot of this is based on the movies and TV shows.
- Sylar a.k.a. Gabriel Grey-I had a lot of trouble deciding between him and my #2. I eventually decided Sylar because in the show, he was so well hidden and disguised throughout the first few episodes, and then they finally reveal him a flashback episode, where they show why he is what he is. Sylar is a truly psychopathic villain, he probably goes the farthest any of the villains go just for the sake of adversity. He removes people’s brains and uses that to acquire their abilities, which ends up distorting his own personality, making his truly delusional, and my favorite villain.
- The Joker-I was so close to giving it the #1. The Joker is one of Batman’s arch nemesia, creating an ultimate foe by committing all of these horrible deeds, just for the sake of anarchy and chaos, just to corrupt the balance of society. He is also probably one of the best portrayed villains, having a multitude of great actors portray him.
- Magneto-I know I’m gonna get props from James for this one. (Remember James, props are good.) Magneto is a brilliant villain, and is probably the oldest on the list, however the fact that flipped a truck in X3 gave him this spot on the list.
- Adam Monroe-Another Heroes Character, Adam was introduced in the second season. He’s an immortal, and has been living for 400 years. Adam worked his way to Texas by conning several people and tried unsuccessfully to unleash a virus that would leave him to be a leader of a new society.
- Two Face-Harvey Dent’s alter ego created in the comics from Maroni’s vengeful acid scarring is one of the saddest villains in my opinion. All he wanted was the good for his city, and instead he is scarred and left to his own vigilante ways to seek revenge.
- Doctor Octopus-Otto Octavius, the brilliant scientist who uses his maniacal tentacles to commit crime made his way onto the list based on Alfred Molina’s portrayal in 2004’s Spiderman 2. The villain is just your slack jawed lacky, but is actually a bright mind.
- Green Goblin-Another entry made by the film series Spiderman, Willem Dafoe’s portrayal of the Green Goblin in 2002’s Spiderman was psychopathically excellent.
- Venom-I might get some slack for this one from DS. Venom is the alien symbiote that attached itself to several people in the comics, and attached itself to Eddie Brock in 2007’s Spiderman 3. Venom shows off the bad in it’s carrier, so theoretically, there’s a little bit of Venom in all of us.
- Sandman-A character who could have made it higher up the list if he would have been a little more fleshed out. Sandman is a truly tragic character who only wants the best for his daughter in 2007’s Spiderman 3. His character is one I really enjoyed watching in the movie, and left a tear in my eye. What? I had been watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition.
- Daniel Linderman-The crime boss of Heroes, Daniel Linderman is the ultimate con artist, conning people, and being the messiah for some like Adam Monroe mentioned earlier. Daniel Linderman had the ability to heal, however was ironically killed in his New York office by brain squeeze.
Here are a few clips from Kevin James’ stand up special, Sweat the Small Stuff.
This guy is like the Weird Al Yankovic of the generation before. These are great videos and they’re really funny, at least they are to me. I hope you enjoy.
I guess Sam Raimi took my advice, or part of it. From what I’ve read on FilmPeak.com, the villains for Spiderman 4 are scheduled to be Carnage and The Lizard. Remember, Dr. Connors still has that symbiote piece, and it is rumored the suit survived the explosion at the end of #3. The suit will find it’s way to Cletus Kasady, a serial killer, to become Carnage. As for the lizard, it doesn’t take much thought to figure that out. Dr. Connors was working on a project to help grow back his arm, like a lizard, and it turned out to cause him to mutate into the Lizard. It will be interesting to see how they differentiate Carnage from Venom so people won’t get confused, that and how they’ll bring the Lizard to the big screen.
Looking through Amazon trying to find a DVD Cover for The Bucket List, I found a few new things Heroes related. The first is a collector’s edition DVD of Season 1, with all 23 episodes including 4 miniature paintings. I will definitely not buy it, I’m perfectly content with my own. It will run for about $65 and as far as I know is only available on Amazon. The next is something I saw in the Sunday paper, the Heroes Soundtrack, surprisingly. The tracklist includes: