After Gwen Stacey had finally been cast for the new Spiderman reboot, my brain started to swivel with ideas for who should play Mary Jane, and below is a top ten list, along with a couple of spare ideas of people that would be perfect for the part. *Keep in mind that there are many actresses of whom I could have forgotten or missed, it’s really hard to find naturally red-headed actresses so just use your imagination that they’ve used a hair stylist. (Also, keep in mind this is partly a joke article, it’s meant to be funny. Don’t call me an idiot because you don’t understand irony.)
Spare Ideas-#1-Kathy Bates-That’s right, this wonderful woman would destroy the part in a wonderful way. She is a beautiful woman that deserves your respect, and she is stunningly gorgeous. And now that I’ve entered the thought into your head, it’s going to stay there forever, and you’re never going to be able to erase the image of Tobey Macquire and Kathy Bates swirling in slow motion as a car flies through a coffee shop window.
#2-Megan Fox-She’s already ruined countless other franchises, why not let her ruin this one? Heck, we could alter Mary Jane’s character to be a prostitute, throw in some racist robots and call it all even. Thank you Michael Bay for discovering this “gem” of an actress and creating a film we can all laugh at. (Gem is another word for herpes right?)
#3-Bryce Dallas Howard-How fitting for the girl that played Gwen Stacey in 2007’s Spiderman 3 to play Mary Jane in the reboot? We could get a blonde girl to play Mary Jane and a red head to play Gwen Stacey, giving nerds a migraine that lasts for all of eternity. This mega migraine would include both petty rage because of the hair color and awe over how good looking Howard is.
#4-Alred Molina-Just let that sink in for a second…
Now on with the actual list-
11- Zooey Deschannel-I really liked her in Marc Webb’s 500 Days of Summer, and considering Marc Webb’s directing Spiderman maybe it’s not too far of a long shot, but the girl has some considerable charm to her and definitely has that “girl next door” vibe well taken care of. Between her music career and her “indie” personality, don’t cross your fingers…
10- Natalie Portman-The girl probably has some of the best acting chops on this list, and she’s surprisingly young (she’s only 29, I had no idea), which could make her an ideal candidate for the role of Mary Jane. Although nerds aren’t exactly proud of her filmmography (don’t make fun of her, or you’ll “break her heart!”), but looking ahead to her potentially oscar worthy performance in Black Swan, there are many more less bankable stars than her.
9- Malin Akerman-Now I’ll be the first to admit that Akerman’s a little bit too old for the role at 32, but looking at her experience with the genre in the past with her experience with Snyder’s Watchmen, and you could just have a great, beautiful actress with the potential to have lightning strike twice with her. She’s pretty enough to be Mary Jane, and definitely has the action chops for more hardcore scenes.
8- Anne Hathaway-This one sounds more like a given than others, but over the years Hathaway has proven to be a more than solid actress. She was my favorite part of this year’s Alice in Wonderland, and she even proved to have a funny side in 2008’s underrated comedy Get Smart. She made look a little odd with red hair, but she’d definitely be worth a shot.
7- Allison Lohman-Although noone actually watched the film, Drag Me to Hell was a delightful little piece of modern horror. As of late, that’s all Lohman’s had to do. So what better way to welcome her back in than to give her the tentpole female lead in a huge tentpole action film blockbuster summer movie that millions upon millions of nerds will rewatch and scrutinize multiple times? Maybe it’s not such a good idea put that way…
6- Teresa Palmer-Did you see The Sorceror’s Apprentice? Neither did I.
5- Kristen Bell-The nerd community already loves this 30 year old actress that’s made her career by roles like Elle in NBC’s Heroes and the classic franchise Veronica Mars. She’s smart, she’s darn funny, she’s beautiful, and I think she could pull off red hair. The role is a perfect fit for her on paper, it’s just a matter of how well the execs over at Sony see how well she’d fit the part.
4- Gemma Arterton-I’ll admit, the last time this girl put on a red wig things didn’t turn out so well. She sort of ended up smothered in oil (spoiler alert). However, there’s no chance that would happen in the new Spiderman film, that is unless Oil Man shows up. That joke may have been too soon…. Anywho, the actress has slowly made her way into U.S. fame recently with roles in films like Prince of Persia and Clash of the Titans, so who’s to say she couldn’t carry a big film like Spiderman? Also, unless I forgot to mention or emphasize it like some directors, she’s flipping gorgeous, and 90% of why I recommend people see Prince of Persia.
3- Rooney Mara-Ever heard of Rooney Mara? Neither have I until I saw Fincher’s latest film, The Social Network. Even in the two scenes that I saw her, she blew me away by her outstanding charisma and sharp looks. I can’t really say that much about her considering I haven’t seen her in anything else, but go see The Social Network, and you’ll see why she’d be great for this, or any other acting job in general.
2- Rachel Bilson-This is another one many probably haven’t heard of either. Maybe that’s the key to finding the next great Mary Jane, looking for the unexpected. That being said, Rachel Bilson would totally fit into that criteria. The girl hasn’t been in much aside from being the love interest in 2008’s Jumper and a couple of spots on How I Met Your Mother, along with a great role in a couple of episodes of Chuck. She’s really sharp on the screen, has a really humble presence to her, has sort of red hair, and it’d make me along with a lot of other fans happy to see her in the part.
1- Yvonne Strahovski-I’ll admit, I’m a little bit biased on this one. I love watching Chuck on Monday nights, and the only thing better than that considering the show’s impending doom would be to see her move onto a new part by playing Mary Jane. I mean Levi’s got a ton of stuff lined up. He’s friends with Seth Green, he’s doing voice acting now, heck he has his own clothing line. But the Australian-bred “super hottie” would just mesh right into the role of Mary Jane. Any fan of the show knows how sweet she can be, how hopelessly romantic, how accidentally funny and how good she would look in a red wig. Please Sony, cast Strahovski in the role, and I would thank you forever in the form of a $11.75 ticket and a $19.99 DVD… and probably a t-shirt.
I’ve said a dozen times I love the art of making films. I love what goes into it and what comes out of it. There’s so much talent that goes behind making a film, and honestly they don’t get enough respect. Of course the head honcho behind any film is the director, and the personal style and tastes of the director can come through on a multitude of levels, transforming an average film to a masterpiece, all because that one man or woman’s sheer talent. So without any further ado, and with much deliberation on my part, here are my top fifteen favorite directors of all time.
15-JJ Abrams-This guy barely made my list, as I’ve only seen a couple of his projects. The guy has a cult status for creating hit series like Lost and Alias, among others, and has some serious nerd cred. However, my experience and favor towards him comes from his work in both the Star Trek reboot and Cloverfield, two films that had a human element to them amongst a larger than life scenario. Cloverfield was a terrifying film backed by a genius concept, and Star Trek was one of the smartest and yet most fun films I’ve gotten to see over the years. Plus, there’s a lot of promise in his film to come, Super 8.
14-Sam Raimi-Raimi of course was the leading mind behind the Spiderman trilogy, and based his fame on the Bruce Campbell Evil Dead franchise. His unique style that you can see in those films, along with the spectacularly campy job he delivered in the Spiderman series, is the reason this director holds such a special place in my movie-going heart. I grew up with the Spiderman film series, in fact it’s one of the reasons I love film as much as I do. However, I also enjoyed his delightfully morbid and old-school take in the 2009 horror film, Drag Me to Hell.
13-Steven Spielberg-When it comes to making great action films, one director’s name always springs to mind quickly, and that name is none other than Steven Spielburg. His legacy is legendary in the film community, and he has inspired many of our current filmmakers. The main reason he’s so low on the list is mainly because I never connected quite as much as others have with his material, but I can still respect an amazing filmmaker. Having directed War of the Worlds, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and countless other films, few directors have a reputation quite like him.
12-Jason Reitman-Reitman made his name very recently with films like Juno and Up in the Air, both of which are great movies in my book and deserve a look. Reitman has a certain way of writing dialogue and crafting characters that no other director can really do quite the same way. You care about these people on a different level, they’re quirky, mean, and witty, but at the same time you love them.
11-Edgar Wright-Very recently I saw and loved Wright’s newest film “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World”, and I absolutely loved it. The same goes for the rest of Wright’s filmmography, including Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. Both are fantastic films, and are great showcases for Wright’s unique sense of style and humor, along with the simple fact the man has a knack for filmmaking. Don’t believe me? Check out any of his action scenes and check to see if your jaw doesn’t drop. The man is poised to take over the industry as one of the next generation’s leading filmmakers.
10-Morgan Spurlock-Now this guy I respect on a different level. On top of making one of my favorite documentaries of all time, this guy subjected himself to 30 days of horribly unhealthy food for each of his meals, all in the name of science and exposing the truth. It also does hurt that both of his films, Supersize Me and Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden are audaciously entertaining and pack a whallop of a message.
9-Zac Snyder-I’ll admit it, I’m a sucker for slo-mo. Snyder has been on the scene for almost a decade now, and has already made some of my favorite films of my life time. His war epic 300 is now basically the template for my high school’s yearbook, and was all we could talk about for months. Watchmen was a fantastic adaptation oozing with style and good ol fashioned great filmmaking, reinventing the style of a classic crime noir while still serving the source material with good faith.
8-Peter Jackson-Let’s face it. When a director can film the un-film-able, break the trilogy curse once and for all, and create some of the most iconic moments of fantasy film of our time, you are obligated to take your hat off to him. Jackson had an unbelievable knack for perfectly replicating epic battle sequences in all three Lord of the Rings films, and is now one of the most respected and most wanted directors in the industry. Although the guy had quite a misstep with The Lovely Bones, I can’t wait to see what this director can do next.
7-Martin Scorsese-Although I’ve missed a number of his more acclaimed works, I immensely respect Martin Scorsese. The man has a thing for twist endings in his films that make legitimate sense and take your breath away, turning the film and its audience on its head by the time the credits roll. To this day The Departed stands as my favorite crime film of all time thanks to its ultimate depiction of the rivalry between cops and gangs along with its colorful cast full of talented acting veterans. This year’s mind-bending thriller, Shutter Island also successfully blew my mind in the best way possible.
6-Judd Apatow-I believe I stated it earlier in one of my comedy reviews, but Judd Apatow is by far the king of the current generation of comedy. Having directed a handful of films like Knocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin and Funny People, and having a hand in almost every other funny thing that’s happened in the past 10 years, Apatow definitely has an eye for the art. My favorite thing about his style, however, remains to be his ability to craft sweet characters and gripping, emotional situations inside raunchy humor and ridiculously laughable scenarios. That takes talent.
5-Joel and Ethan Coen-The Coen Brothers could literally have any job they wanted in Hollywood. The two have been respected filmmakers for decades now, and continue to churn out classics like Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, and this year’s film being released in December, True Grit starring Jeff Bridges. The two have an eye for storytelling with at times irreverent humor, and can create some real emotion, whether that’s laughter or gripping terror as we see a relentless bounty hunter stalk a Texas man in my favorite film of their’s, No Country for Old Men. The movie has a bleak style to it that I can’t get enough of, and blends the old school Western/Cat and Mouse vibe just enough with new school suspense techniques and shooting of action to create an instant classic.
4-Quentin Tarantino-Few filmmakers have the cajones to do what Tarantino does best. Why choose between stylish wit and storytelling? Why can’t we have both? Many of Tarantino’s films are “self-indulgent” to some, having an odd sense of editing that isn’t proud or arrogant, it’s just his way of doing things. Tarantino will tell many stories at once that often interweave in his films like Pulp Fiction and Inglourious Basterds, giving the audience 20-30 minutes of dialogue and odd exposition at a time before bursting in with a grisly violent attack or big comedic/action sequence. He sort of broke this standard of interweaving storylines with the Kill Bill Two-Parter, but the Tarantino we know was still there with some scenes that went on forever. Only one filmmaker can get away with a scene having two characters talk about the characteristics of rats for 20 minutes before we meet the main characters, and that man is Quentin Tarantino.
3-Alfred Hitchcock-There are few scenes in horror films that can genuinely scare me. Sure there are jump scares in a lot of films that modern directors use to scare people lifeless, but when it came to a Hitchcock film, you were in for a treat. While I’ve never gotten to see some of his bigger films like Vertigo, Rear Window, or North by Northwest, I have gotten to see two of his classics, Psycho and The Birds. The man knows his suspense, and can build characters and fear in a way no other director could in his time. Nothing tops that scene of sheer terror as Sam enters Norman Bates’ basement, turns the chair, sees the corpse, and in a split second we figure out the entire mystery in a haunting way.
2-Mel Brooks-Although Hitchcock was a man of adventure and suspense, Brooks was a figure of comedy, and quite possibly was the best comedic director of all time. Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles, along with Robin Hood: Men in Tights and Silent Movie! are all comedy gems that deserve to be seen. In a sense Brook invented the spoof genre, as even in 1974 Brooks understood the concept of creating a real movie that just so happened to be making fun of tons of other cliches in the genre. And admit it, you busted out in laughter too when you saw Mongo punch the horse in the face that first time, didn’t you?
1-Christopher Nolan-This comes as no surprise to many of you. Christoper Nolan has been making films for little over a decade now, and even in that short span of time I could consider 4 of his movies in my Top Ten. Nolan has an eye for story like no other, crafting a sense of suspense along with a sense of wonder, creating a world in each and every one of his films, giving his characters meaning and purpose, and shocking each and every one of us by the very end. After seeing each of his films I’m not quite sure what I’ve seen, but I do know that I loved it. The Prestige, Inception, and The Dark Knight stand out as my current favorites of the director, and each one earns its spot for a different reason. There’s an obvious sense of time and effort that goes into making his films, and it shows. Each one has a style to it and a complex mythology that combines with a unique story to build and build into a modern classic. Out of all the directors today, I can truly see Nolan’s films being viewed decades from now as some of the classics of our generation.
1. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)-You just can’t beat the classics. I had a hard time deciding between this and Back to the Future Part 2, and both are incredibly great films that have both served deep cultural impacts, but Empire Strikes Back just has a tad bit more oomph. Sure, this entry also includes New Hope and Return of the Jedi (and in a lesser extent Revenge of the Sith), but this film proved to us what a bounty hunter really is, how cool Billy Dee Williams can be, and what it means to be a nerfherter. When I tell this film I love it, it simply tells me it knows.
2. Back to the Future Part II (1987)-It was a tough time picking between this film and the first part of the series, but there’s something about how the stakes slowly ramp up in this second act in the trilogy, and how Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd seem so much more comfortable in their parts that makes me love this film that much more. This film has a real sense of adventure, taking us to 3 separate time periods like no other film could, and introduced the staple of science fiction films, the hover board.
3. District 9 (2009)-This is one film that to this day, almost a year after I first saw it, I can’t stop thinking about. Maybe it’s the deep-seated message buried under an incredible 2 hours of brilliant (and first time) filmmaking, maybe it’s the film’s haunting African-chant score, maybe it’s Sharlto Copley’s outstanding performance, maybe it’s just how great this film looks for being made for almost nothing, but whatever it is, I’m certainly glad District 9 exists as the science fiction masterpiece it is.
4. The Prestige (2006)-There was some debate in my mind as to whether or not this is a science fiction film, and although a good 2/3rds of this film only dips in and out of a sci-fi aire, it’s the final resolution and the revealed structure of the film that Christopher Nolan gracefully reveals in the final minutes, leaving his audience breathless, that makes this film just like a magic trick, and a great piece of science fiction.
5. Star Trek (2009)-Possibly the most fun of the science fiction films on the list, J.J. Abram’s Star Trek definitely delves into the matters of science fiction-giant monsters, time travel, spaceships, heck, it’s Star Trek, and yet the cast and crew have so much fun bringing it to life. The fights all look great, the actors are top notch, and the film is even one of the best looking I’ve seen in a while. It’s science fiction, but for a younger crowd.
6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1990)-The perfection of the Terminator series came in 1990 whenever James Cameron turned the idea of the first Terminator on its head by making that film’s antagonist a protagonist of sorts, and even a hero. Films today look upon this masterpiece for inspiration, and there’s so much to learn from some unbelievable action shots, some great irreverent humor tossed into the moments of darkest despair, and an ending that’s been burned into our brains forever.
7. Moon (2009)-Sam Rockwell really impressed me in this summer’s Iron Man 2, and I was really happy to finally get to check out his starring role in last year’s Moon. The film delves deep into the ideas of science fiction, and to tell you the truth I can’t delve in too deep into the film’s story to risk spoiling the major notion of the film. However it is worth saying Moon is definitely an emotional, yet exciting and nailbiting adventure to take.
8. I Am Legend (2007)-This movie catches a lot of flack from people, thanks in part to its ending. (Spoilers ahead) However, the real reason this film succeeds the way it does to me is thanks to the incredible display of range by Will Smith in the film, watching his character slowly fall to pieces and crumble within the film while this science fictiony apocalypse slowly unfold around him. Towards the end of an admittedly weak third act, sacrificing his life really was the most poetic and emotionally hard-hitting end to the film.
9. War of the Worlds (2005)-No other film on this list affects me the way this film affects me. Steven Spielburg shot big for the adaptation of War of the Worlds in 2005, and in my view, it payed off. All the while this really horrific alien catastrophe is going on, you get the sense that you’re really there, that you really feel this sense of paranoia all the characters are feeling, and if you can withstand it through the whole film, you’ll ride with the characters all the way through this film that brilliantly creates emotion and fear.
10. Transformers (2007)-Sometimes science fiction is smart and quiet, other times science fiction is loud and dumb. Transformers falls into that latter category, and unlike it’s quite simply idiotic sequel, this film succeeds in being fun and at the same time tell an effective story. You’re interested in where these characters are going, you’re enthralled by the gorgeous action, but at the same time you don’t have to be treated like an idiot by Michael Bay.
1. The Villain-Every western needs a terrifying villain. Someone that just exudes evil. Javier Bardem’s portrayal of a bounty hunter in No Country is really just terrifying. Not because his character looks scary (although his look is unsettling), but just by how his character does really evil things. He pursues the “protagonist” relentlessly, often times with horrific injuries, just to complete his mission. He suffers brutal injuries but keeps going, plus he becomes iconic not just through his quotes but also by his unique weapon. He murders without second thought, he’ll often sit in his scenes and you’ll really just not know what’s about to happen, and that in itself makes him the perfect bad guy.
2. The “Protagonist”-Josh Brolin (before taking parts in Jonah Hex) is an amazing actor. He pulls off a really really cool, sly talking “good guy” in the movie. In the beginning of the film he makes a bad decision, and that’s the main reason why he lands in the predicament he does running from the villain. The scenes he does have though are really propelled by his fierce nature.
3. Tommy Lee Jones and VoiceOvers-Tommy Lee Jones in the film almost acts as an audience member that’s in the film, commentating on the events that happen, but never having any effect on anything that goes on. As the Sheriff of the town, often coming in too late on the scene of the crime, sharing his thoughts, sharing a voiceover in the first 10 minutes and concluding the film with his chilling narration.
4. The Scenery-The beautiful thing about No Country is that there’s hardly any scenery. Miles and miles of barren desert populate most of the film’s shots, and they really help the movie’s “hopeless” theme. There are also some terrifying shots at pitch black night and during some sunsets that look amazing.
5. The Theme of the Film-The idea behind “No Country for Old Men”, just as a title, stands to reason that we live in a new world. A world where there isn’t black and white anymore, but there is some pure evil out there (villain), and that even our protagonist ends up in his situation thanks to a really immoral decision. By the end of the film (SPOILER) our protagonist dies a horrifically violent death and the bad guy gets away with it, only further cementing the message with TLJ’s chilling narration.
6. How Some Scenes Are Shot-The Coen Brothers are some of the best filmmakers around. There are some scenes in the film that really just blew my mind. There are chase shots between the villain and hero (especially the one at night) that are really tense and perfectly made, there’s one shot in a dark room with a loaded gun that’s also perfect, and there are so many other scenes with a great script, great humor, great tension present there (villain vs. the hero’s wife) (the coin scene)(the milk scene), and so many other great camera angles that make the film perfect.
7. The Tension-Oh the blasted tension! This sort of coincides with the first point, but there are some scenes when the tension becomes unbearable, and it’s great. (The Coin scene and the dark room scene are my favorites).
8. The Wordplay-There wouldn’t be as much tension in the film if it wasn’t for the good ol’ fashioned wordplay and the intensity of the script. Some of the dialogue is perfectly written, perfectly mundane but at the same time insightfully brilliant. “No sir, don’t put that in your pocket, that’s your lucky coin! If you put it in your pocket, then it’s just another coin…”
9. Shootout-There’s the shootout about 1/2 way through that has to be one of my favorites of all time, and no Western is complete without a great shootout.
10. The Ending-As I said earlier, the villain gets away with it, but it’s just how shocking that is, how they don’t beat you over the head making it obvious the hero died, but you still know, and how they simply and subtly show us the villain walking away before the police arrive. Concluding the movie and giving us a sad, but profound conclusion.
The year is nearly half-way through, and I figured it appropriate to start naming off my Top Ten films of the year so far before we entered fully into the Summer movie season. Given, one or two of the films in this list are from the Summer season, however it still fits into the criteria (sort of). Plus it’ll be interesting at the end of the year if this really changes that much.
- Shutter Island-This film has really stuck with me over time, and I truly can’t wait for its DVD release. Nearly 3 months after seeing it I still ponder it’s message and what it really meant. This really has the best chance at staying #1.-5 out of 5
- How to Train Your Dragon 3D-This movie filled me with that childhood wonder again, and was one of the best animated films I’ve seen in quite a while (and by a while I mean since I saw Princess and the Frog).-5 out of 5
- Iron Man 2-This film delivered some harrowingly fun, awesome action set pieces, improved on everything that was good and fun about the first Iron Man in terms of scale even though it lost some of that storytelling power.-4 1/2 out of 5
- Date Night-This movie really knocked away my expectations as it had me rolling with tears in my eyes from laughter from some of the wonderfully hilarious, family-friendly hi-jinks.-4 out of 5
- The Losers-A destined to be cult classic film that really proved me wrong by being hilarious, action-packed, and dared to be different.-4 out of 5
- Nightmare on Elm Street-This film, while lashed by many, completely satisfied me in terms of a psychological horror fun ride. –4 out of 5
- Robin Hood-Sure it’s a little slow and unfocused, but there are still some great moments to be had in Ridley Scott’s latest epic.-4 out of 5
- Kick-Ass- Although it did disappoint in terms of the story, it still delivered a really fun time with some great writing and action that I enjoyed.-4 out of 5
- The Wolfman-The makers of this film really reminded me of what horror used to be in a really fun, interestingly campy B-movie.-4 out of 5
- Alice in Wonderland-There are some great moments in this movie from Johnny Depp and the rest of the gang even if Tim Burton overshadowed it a little bit.-4 out of 5
With the release of Funny People in the past weekend (full review coming soon), I figured I would take the time to designate the best of the best, the cream of the crop in the slew of movies that he calls his own in the recent trend of r-rated adult comedies. Over the years I’ve become a bigger fan of his work compared to at first being an un-fan of him. If you take a look at his full filmography, whether it was being involved as a writer, producer, or his three instances of director (all of which are under consideration), he’s had quite a bit of influence. This is one funny guy.
- Funny People-I picked this one for his #1 mainly b/c 1) I never really believed he had hit this mature or bold a statement in his movies before aside from Knocked Up while combining some really great comedy and 2) This one really gives you an inside look at the people behind the laughter, the world of stand up. Up until this movie I had no idea Adam Sandler could join these ranks.
- The Pineapple Express-Even though Apatow didn’t direct this one, the nice blend of comedy and dark action made this one a winner to me.
- Forgetting Sarah Marshall-This one proved to me that Jason Segal and Bill Hader are worthy members of the team. Elle from Heroes is in it, and it’s probably one of the funniest of the group.
- Knocked Up-The other of the three that Judd Apatow actually directed, this one has a really sweet charm, and I really took a liking to it.
- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy-Will Ferrel really should do more character work with Judd Apatow, this comedy chronicling 1970s news journalism is a classic.
- Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby-Living in the South, this one’s a cult classic here. If only a lot of these guys and girls could see the rest of these movies. Still, this one’s hilarious and has plenty of quotable lines.
- Step Brothers-A Comedy concept formed in Heaven, a pairing of Will Ferrel and John C Reilly brings the serious laughs.
- Heavyweights-Disney actually made this one. This is a classic from when I was a kid that had the production handiwork from the current comedy king.
- Superbad-Jonah Hill’s first starring role, this could be considered a hard r look at the teenage party life and a really funny one at that.
- Drillbit Taylor-Owen Wilson’s run in the group may not have been as successful, but it was still worth the watch as a more family oriented Apatow faire.
It’s the first day of April, and that means the Spring is already here. (I was setting that sentence up differently.) Spring is for sure my favorite time of year, it’s not too hot, not too cold (hopefully here in a few weeks), and some great things can come from the middle of the temperature road season. Here are the top ten things I’m looking forward to this Spring ’09.
- Going Places-Sure, it’s a little vague, but this time of year is when I am the busiest. The cold weather is leaving, and as Bob Dylan would say, The Times Are A Changin’. I’ve got several things planned for this Spring that should all be fun like spending a week in a program up north, Church Camp, and some good ol’ fashioned Church Camp. Plus Beta Convention 2009!!!
- My Birthday-I finally get to drive on carpool…
- Softball Season-Softball season means working for softball, which means I get to work outside again and get in trouble again with the scary umpires for talking during halftimes.
- Graduation-Seeing all my older friends leave, then being like that forgotten puppy at the pet store when they’re the ones leaving and I’m not. Looks like more lunch food for me…. Suckers….
- Window Driving/AC-I know longer have to wait 30 minutes and use 1/2 a tank warming up my truck in the mornings…
- Sno Cones at the Ballpark-Then regretting every minute of it freezing it off after you chug it shaking like a wet dog…
- Shorts-They’re like miniature pants in the non-weird way.
- Taking a Social Break During the Early Summer-Cause sometimes there are those friends you’ll miss for three months, then there are those you’ve had all you can stand…..
- The Soloist-I’m almost guaranteeing I’ll love this Robert Downey Jr. movie…. Plus, it comes out on my birthday, how convenient….
- Wearing Shorts in the Day and A Frickin’ Jacket at Night-Oh wait, I’m NOT looking forward to Mother Nature being freakin’ bipolar…
I decided this year instead of combining both movies and video games into one post, since I haven’t played that many new games this year, and since I have watched a lot of movies. I decided I would take one post aside to name off my favorite movies of the year, separating them into categories, naming the worst, and my top ten favorite for the year. If you have any suggestions to me for movies I might have forgotten, feel free to let me know.
BEST ACTION/ADVENTURE MOVIE (NOT INCLUDING SUPERHERO MOVIES)-
- Quantum of Solace
- The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Tie-007: Quantum of Solace and The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian-Both are great movies that everyone should see, I simply could not decide though between them, given that I liked them for different reasons. That, and I’d get my head bitten off.
BEST SUPERHERO MOVIE-
- Iron Man
- The Dark Knight
- The Incredible Hulk
Winner-The Dark Knight-This movie astounds me to this day. Iron Man or The Incredible Hulk would win any other day had TDK not been involved, however, TDK succeeds not only as a superhero movie, but as a true crime epic. That, plus Ledger’s unrivaled performance make it my winner.
I must say that all the others are great movies as well, all could have won on their own. All worth exceeding honor.
- Get Smart
- Drillbit Taylor
- What Happens in Vegas…
- Be Kind Rewind
- Bedtime Stories
Winner-Get Smart-Although I loved Be Kind Rewind and thought it was a better movie, Get Smart just carries more laughs. It is funnier than Be Kind Rewind to me, and AS A COMEDY it succeeds. However as a film, Be Kind Rewind is a better movie.
BEST DRAMA-Winner-The Bucket List-I didn’t see any other dramas, go figure.
BEST ANIMATED MOVIE-
- Kung Fu Panda
- WALL E
- Horton Hears a Who
Winner-WALL E-Even though Kung Fu Panda is one of the best animated movies I’ve seen in a while, WALL E proves to be another animated classic from PIXAR.
BEST SCIENCE FICTION-
- The Day the Earth Stood Still
Tie-I couldn’t decide whose acting was more wooden, Christensen or Reeves, and Reeves is a frackin’ alien! Both movies are worth while sci-fi fair, nothing too great but still worth your time.
- The Dark Knight
- The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
- 007: Quantum of Solace
Winner-The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian-Bet you didn’t see that one coming, did ya? I judged this on which movie series improved the most, not which one was the best movie. Prince Caspian was a great improvement to me over the first, which is what puts it ahead.
BEST FAMILY MOVIE-
- Bedtime Stories
- WALL E
- Horton Hears a Who
Winner-Bedtime Stories-Out of all these movies suited for families, Bedtime Stories does the best job of making it fun for both kids and adults. Kids like fantasy, there you go. Adults like Sandler, there you go.
WORST MOVIE OF 2008-
- You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
- 10000 BC
Winner-You Don’t Mess with the Zohan-Oh what hopes I had for this movie. I thought it would be funny. I thought it would be entertaining. I thought wrong. DS and Nolan, you all can accuse all you want or defend, the movie was not funny at all to me. They basically take the same joke and they re-use it 50 times, each time grosser and even less funny. 10000 BC earned it’s way here b/c of, well, I can’t remember. Jumper is here thanks to Hayden Christensen. Finally, Cloverfield’s here just b/c it had the worst and most nauseating camera work ever.
TOP ELEVEN MOVIES OF 2008-I couldn’t get myself to rid the #11 spot, so I decided to leave it in as an addendum.
- The Dark Knight
- The Bucket List
- Be Kind Rewind
- WALL E
- Iron Man
- Get Smart
- 007: Quantum of Solace
- Bedtime Stories
- The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
- Kung Fu Panda
More than Worthy Mentions-Edward Norton’s fantastic portrayal of Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk, Kutcher and friend’s hilarious times in What Happens in Vegas.
Stay tuned for my picks for video games and TV coming soon. *Note-If I end up seeing Seven Pounds, Yes Man, or some other movie this month, I’ll edit this post.
It seems that I do this one every year, but to me every year it changes, just like Christmas. New favorites emerge, new runners enter, and you find something you never saw before. Or maybe I just got tired of the old one.
- A Christmas Story-How can you beat the classic? The classic story of Ralphie trying to get his hands on a red ryder bb gun is my new favorite story of Christmas.
- Elf-Will Ferrel is and always will be hilarious in one of my favorite Christmas movies about one man trying to find his true home for the holidays.
- The Santa Clause-The classic Christmas tale of Tim Allen’s attempts at the guy in the big red suit will always be a classic in my eyes.
- Ron Howard’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas-Hilarious and heart-warming.
- National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
- The Polar Express
- Fred Claus
- The Nightmare Before Christmas (Can I Count This?)
- Home Alone 2
- Ernest Saves Christmas
Yea, I know, it’s a little late. Thanksgiving was last Thursday, but I was rather busy during those few days and never got around to doing a real Thankful post. So I decided I would do one now before December starts. By the way, Happy December everybody. I thought it would be fun to list my top ten gripes in life, and then, to round things out on a cheery note, list my top ten things I’m thankful for.
10. The (Insert Genre Here)–Movie Doofs that keep cranking out these atrocious movies that only 13 yr old teenagers and people with horrible conceptions of comedy go to see. The only purposes these movies serve are to be the pimple on cinema’s butt.
9. The people at Wal-mart that either break the accessories to the games on purpose (I ought to punch you in your groin) or the little ones that don’t know what they’re doing, and then when I try to help and take over, their parents get mad at me. Listen bro, I’m trying to get your copy of Wario Land Shake It to work!
8. My DVR when it doesn’t record the right programming, or when it refuses to comply with my demands. WORK MACHINERY
7. AC/DC-To be honest, it’s in part the band. But it’s also ESPN’s over playing of their songs. Every single football montage is either AC DC’s “For Those About to Rock We Salute You”, “Iron Man”, or “Back in Black”. Also, why is it that the football commentators look like they could either play football or take a cup of steroids.
6. Doofs that don’t know how to drive safely and responsibly
5. People that don’t understand certain elements of humor
4. CERTAIN TEENAGERS or just teenagers in high school in general unwilling to learn that won’t shut their traps and listen.
3. These people that go to die-in restaurants and leave huge messes on their tables, leave their chairs sprawled out all over the place, or act all rude when they come up to pay their cashier. I work in a store like this, and it really ticks me off.
2. These people that sit through movies texting, chatting away, or laughing some loudly I can’t hear or pay attention to the movie, I’m so distracting by them. Both Duct tape and morning showings were designed for you people.
1. I’ll go ahead and say it. Airheads. Girls that go around OMG!!! MY BFF JUST TEXTED ME! DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE WAS WEARING TODAY!!! OH MY GAAA!!! Reading? Who needs knowledge when I can coast through life with looks and marry some rich guy? Okay, don’t think I’m singling out cheerleaders, or popular girls. I’ve met both, some are really cool, some aren’t. I like intelligent conversations without every 4 seconds having to be me explaining what the word “and” means. I like girls with intelligence, looks come in second. If you’re the pretty girl with a brain the size of a walnut, I don’t hate you by any means, I just don’t like you near as much as the pretty girl who’s smarter than me.
Top Ten Things I’m Thankful For-
10. Morgan Freeman
9. ITunes’ extensive library
8. The morning paper
7. Great Talent in TV, Movies, and Video Games
6. My opportunities in school
5. The excellent cooking talent in my family
4. The Christmas Season
3. I am surrounded by excellent sources of humor around me that give me a mouthful of laughs every day. I’m not funny, but I sure am around some hilarious people.
2. My wonderful community of family and friends that support me each and every day.
1. My Heavenly Father whom I have to thank for all of this.
It seemed like this Spring and Summer went on forever, but now the middle of Fall is here, and where I live, Old Man Winter has gotten in a preemptive slap on our community. Pretty much every morning there’s frost, some kid whining because they’re wearing shorts, and me complaining because it’s too cold.
10. That it’s already Christmas time. (That’s what Nat King Cole and Bing Crosby are for.)
9. People complaining about the weather instead of Obama or High gas prices-$1.99 per gallon, eat it!
8. Long Sleeves
7. Frost on my windshield that takes 30 minutes of sitting and waiting to defrost.
6. My body’s resistance to refreshing cold showers-(As soon as I hit the cold air, I die inside)
5. Hot Chocolate
4. Vampires. They always come out in Winter.
3. My body’s resistance to smoothies
2. 20-30 Degree temperatures in mid-November
1. Having to start my truck as soon as I wake up in the morning so it will be warm by the time I leave for school
- Remember the Titans
- Coach Carter
- Facing the Giants
- The Sandlot
- Glory Road
- The Legend of Bagger Vance
- Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
- Blades of Glory
With the premiere of the third season of Heroes less than 2 months away, there’s a lot to look forward to for all the Heroes fans out there. This new season looks to be one of the most interesting, shedding some new light and some darker sides to some of the older, more beloved, good characters.
- Sylar Returns to saw off some skulls and take some powers! Honestly, one reason Season 2 kinda fell behind until the final few episodes was because Sylar was out of commission until those final few when he returned to his evil, serial killing ways.
- Future Episode with an Evil Claire!
- New Level 5 Villains with some scarily awesome powers.
- Mr. Bennet Returning to Work for the Company, which means more living a double life and committing some more dastardly deeds!
- NATHAN ISN’T DEAD FOR THE SECOND TIME/WE GET TO FIND OUT WHO SHOT NATHAN!
- Hiro has a new Arch-Nemesis! Hopefully he won’t lock this one away in a coffin.
- David Anders (AKA Adam Monroe AKA Takezo Kensei) has confirmed he will return for a few episodes.
- CLAUDE RETURNS! (I wish)
- Did I mention Sylar Returning?
Well, I told you after my review of Iron Man that there would be another one of these later, after I had been able to see some of the other superhero offerings. Now that I have, I am ready to do a second edition. It’s also worth noting that next year there could be another one of these after some prequels if you know what I mean. I might also revise this and republish it after The Incredible Hulk comes on DVD.
- The Dark Knight
- Iron Man
- Spiderman 2
- Batman Begins
- Spiderman 1
- Spiderman 3
- Batman (1989)
- X Men 3: The Last Stand
- Fantastic Four
Yes, I know there will be some who disagree with me. I haven’t watched a majority of recent comedy films, however there are a few I’d like to see. If you do disagree with me, feel free to express that anger in comment form. This was actually one of the hardest top tens I’ve had to do. Note-This post is subject to change.
- The Blues Brothers-Very hard decision, however because this movie has the most quotable lines, the most classic regardment out of all of my choices, it earns its spot at #1.
- Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
- National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
- The Nutty Professor
- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
- Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
- Young Frankenstein
- School of Rock
- Bruce Almighty
- Get Smart