As I am writing this, I am getting prepared (and am in quite a rush) to make my way up to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for a really great conference I go to every year, CYC, or Challenge Youth Conference. This is why I’m not at school today. I will miss all of you guys, and hope to see you all when I get back, back to the warmth of southern middle Tennessee and all of my annoying and non-annoying teachers, along with all my annoying/non-annoying friends. As always, I will leave you guys with a great video to watch until I get back. Hope to see you all Monday.
I know I haven’t done this in a while (that’s what she said), but I figured it’d be a nice breather to have some great quotes from the wonderfully-quotable The Office. Note-all these quotes are taken from Season 5, I’ll continue the string later.
Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow.
Jim: [looks to Michael for a “That’s what she said”] Really? Nothing?
Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It’s going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don’t get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It’s from Mexico.
[cuts to Creed in an interview]
Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.
Stanley: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They always complain. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I’m constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don’t get sore, too? Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?
Creed Bratton: Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.
Kelly: Get out of my nook, Dwight.
Pam: [heard through Jim’s Bluetooth] THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!
Michael: Kelly Kapoor is our dusky, exotic customer service rep. And once a year, she will contact our clients and find out how happy they are with our salespeople. Sort of a Kapoor’s List. “Schindler’s List” parody. …That’s not appropriate, no.
Michael: I learned a while back that if I don’t text 911, people will not return my calls. Uhhm, but now people always return my calls because they think that something horrible has happened.
Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier, it’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business; she’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come, and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada – I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard: I have a son, and he’s the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadéro. She’s been waiting for me all these years, she’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the chandelier.
Andy: What’s that smell?
Dwight: You’re going to need to be more specific.
Jim: Okay, okay, okay. Why don’t we just put this to a vote, and then we’ll be done with it.
Angela: I’m not voting.
Jim: No one cares.
Michael: Don’t die, Stanley! DON’T DIE! Barack is president! You’re black!
David Wallace: How could you possibly think this was a good idea?
Dwight: Many ideas were not appreciated in their time.
Andy: [yelling] The fire is shooting at us!
Pam: I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. [pause] I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.
Dwight: Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man’s.
Jim: Actually, when I was seven, my dad took me to the Natural History Museum in New York. And we looked at fossils all day. And at the end of the day, he got me a little plastic triceratops. It was awesome.
Dwight: That’s cool. Hey, you know what’s even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.
Jim: Didn’t see that one coming.
Hope you enjoyed it. (Also what she said.)
Probably my most anticipated movie coming up right now is Watchmen, the movie adaptation of the Alan Moore graphic novel 20 years in the making. I am in full-hype for this film, and have already pre-ordered my tickets for the Friday showing. But to keep James and DS happy and not annoyed with my mini Watchmen obsession, I’m trying to not talk about it and keep my hype down. So, here are some clips to hold us over for 2 more weeks.
Dr. Manhattan Can’t Be Everywhere At Once-
Smartest Man on the Cinder-
Don’t Leave Me-
One of the best things about The Office is Micheal Scott’s occasional use of “That’s What She Said”. Here’s a collection of some of his greatest moments with the joke.
Is it normal that the theme song is still stuck in my head? I can give you a pretty good idea of this review in a few questions- Did you like the first Pink Panther starring Steve Martin? If you answered yes, you might not like this movie. Are you looking for a decent comedy worth a few laughs on a Saturday afternoon? If you answered yes, read my Paul Blart review. Just kidding. The new Pink Panther installment takes place a few months (?) after the events of the first Pink Panther. Inspector Jacque Closeau is France’s clumsiest, hilarious traffic inspector, when a mysterious, infamous thief named “The Tornado” comes back onto the scene and steals some of the world’s biggest treasures, including the sweet jessie that is the pink panther diamond. So it’s up to Jacque, teamed up with Q and Doctor Octopus (the ultimate crime team) to save the day. It’s kind of best if you don’t compare this to the first one, b/c the first one’s a lot better. It kinda felt like they took a lot of the jokes from the first movie, and either re-used them, or used the jokes they didn’t wanna use in the first movie. It just isn’t near as funny or even the clever kinda funny that the first one was. Maybe my sense of humor’s changed (doesn’t really explain why I loved Paul Blart), but to me most of the movie just wasn’t as funny. It has it’s decent laughs, but some just fall flat. The slapstick antics had me rolling in my seat at times (I mean who doesn’t love Steve Martin falling down a chimney?), other times I just left the theater to go get Buncha-Crunch. The new cast members Alfred Molina and John Cleese both carry their weight well, although they’re not allowed to carry their chops as much as Steve Martin with his faux french accent that’s still pretty funny, even if you can’t understand him. The mystery of the movie is no Psych episode or CSI worthy entry, but it keeps you guessing some, and throws it all together in the end, which is good or bad depending on how you look at it. I really just felt like this movie could have been better had they just put some more effort into the comedy aspect and made it, well, funnier, and more original. The Pink Panther succeeds at being a goofy fun-fest for kids all the time, and occasionally funny for the older, however there are some better comedies playing at your local theater worth your $7.
3 out of 5
Several new tales are on their way to DVD, including a slew of big-name holiday titles. As always, the release dates and boxarts are below.
- Marley and Me-March 31st
- Yes Man-April 7th
- The Day the Earth Stood Still-March 31st
- The Spirit-April 14th
- Seven Pounds-March 17th
- Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter/Mason Hollis’ Under the Hood-March 24th
- Punisher: War Zone-March 17th
Note to Self-NEVER kidnap Liam Neeson’s daughter. This among many other lessons-Never allows the villain to give a long speech, look both ways before crossing the street, and most importantly, DON’T wish Liam Neeson good luck on kicking your tail. Taken has a pretty simple story. You can figure it all out, all that happens in the movie, just by watching the trailer. Neeson’s daughter gets kidnapped, Neeson goes and brutally murders every last one of them. That’s pretty much all you need to know to thoroughly enjoy this movie. That’s one of the best things about this movie, how wonderfully simple the plot is. There’s no government agency, no terrorists, just one man beating the living snot out of everyone so he can get his daughter back, and in that way, it’s almost really creative. The film’s main honcho, in case you didn’t know is Liam Neeson, a.k.a. Ras Al Ghul, a.k.a. Aslan. His powerful voice carries over every scene. I had trouble not laughing during the first few melancholy scenes where Neeson’s character was just being a normal guy saying normal things-“Hello my daughter”, “I hope you enjoy your karaoke machine, I bought it myself”. After seeing the movie I’m convinced he could match wits vocally with the likes of Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones. The movie also, of course carries its weight in brutal action scenes. If you’ve watched any of the more new and modern Bond movies or any of the installments in the Bourne series, you’re familiar with the style of action: Quick, brutal, and breathless. Thecamera is constantly switching angles (which was mildly annoying) just to keep up with all the quick jabs, swift kicks, and judo chops, all delivered from Neeson to his daughter’s captors. The storyline is very dark for this genre of movie compared to movies like the Die Hard series. Neeson’s getting in deep, infiltrating high political conspiracies, sex scandals, and prostitution rings. In other words, don’t take the kids to this one. The story goes very well with the brutal grittiness of the violence. If you’re a fan of movies like Live Free or Die Hard, 007: Quantum of Solace, or any of Liam Neeson’s past work, there’s no reason for you NOT to see this. If you’re any fan of the action genre, this is a dream Saturday night. Taken is a perfect thrill ride with no stops. If you’re on a date, dump your girlfriend in whatever chick flick Florence is playing, if you’re a girl and wanna see this, call me. With plenty of brutal action to have you and your friends talking for days, the style of a Bond movie, and at a perfect compact time of 1 ½ hours, this movie packs plenty of punch for the hungry action junkie during a month of harsh cold.
5 out of 5
Ready to Rock? Rainn Wilson stars as Robert “Fish” Fishman, who, after being dumped by his own band “Vesuvius” in the 80s, and being fired from his job, begins to play in his nephew’s band, and teaches them about rock…. and life. I promise it’s not that corny. What you might be saying is “Well this is just like the School of Rock!” Well, it’s not. I thought that for like 2 or 3 seconds in the beginning, b/c it opens a lot like that movie. However, pretty soon you forget the similarities and just enjoy the ride. Rainn Wilson is actually pretty funny in this movie. He pulls off the rock and lazy bum personas well, while still being a likable character that you can root and laugh for. This pic pretty much sums him up. The rest of the characters are really funny as well, several laugh out loud jokes that had me…. well, laughing out loud. The movie, along with the territory, brings a lot of rock references. Fish is an expert of rock, and lets you know it in hilarious ways-“Oh, mum and dad, can I go rock with my friends at SHEA STADIUM!” The movie is even funnier if you’re a fan of The Office, and you’ve seen Wilson’s other work involved in it. All of the supporting characters, all from shows and movies like Scrubs, Daddy Day Care, and Chuck, all make their small screen time worth while. The movie even almost carries a feel-good quality to it, leaving you feeling all warm inside by the time it’s over, believing that any 40 year old office worker can be a rock star. Only down spots I could find were sometimes Wilson’s jokes fall flat, especially when he’s TRYING to be funny. Plus, it almost ends on a very sudden note, leaving some plot lines just hanging, like they didn’t know how to end it just right. Is it better than School of Rock? No. Is it still a plenty fun comedy worth more than your $2.50 on a Thursday night? You know it. The Rocker is a comedy full of rock life, hilarious jokes, and a great message, making it a great movie for any comedy or rock fan to add to their DVD collection.
4 out of 5
For those of you nerds out there looking for something else to get you all excited for all the superhero glory coming to the big screen this summer, there has been some new info released on this summer’s Iron Man (In that it’s kicking off the summer movie season, hopefully it’ll be that good). The movie, originally set at a Friday, May 1st release date, has now been movie to a stranger, but welcome release date. The movie is now set to release on the NIGHT of Wednesday, April 29th. This may be a little difficult to me, as I was planning on going to see it as part of a first night-first showing extravaganza, however I have Church on that night. I might have to make an exception this time for the guy with the super sharp metal claws. Also, a new poster has been released, as can be seen. Below is the trailer, in case you hadn’t seen it yet, or if you’re James, so you can watch it again.
I was just reading an article on IGN about JD Moments on Scrubs, so I decided I’d post a few of the best of JD’s Daydreams that make the show so much fun-
JD’s Dream Funeral-
The Narnia Daydream-
New Doctors in Town-
Risky Business Spoof-
Anyone familiar with the phrase “What you see is what you get?” That pretty much sums up Max Payne. If you’re kinda lineant as to if you wanna watch the movie or not, watch the trailer. If you think it’s epic and cool, you’ll like the movie. If you’re indifferent or hate it, don’t watch the movie. The movie takes place in a dark and gritty crime ruled Gotham City New York (I assume), where detective Max Payne is cleaning up the cities, following noone’s rules (not even his own), and trying to solve his wife’s murder along with a conspiracy behind a new drug craze. The dark and stylized look of the city is the best thing the movie has going for it. The bleak atmosphere accompanied by great accents on reds and blues is actually kinda beautiful. Also, the slo-mo action frames are also pretty kick-butt. No matter how cliche or already done it may seem, it’s undeniably awesome to see Mark Wahlberg flying backwards through the air in his super-soldier form blasting a shotgun. The valkyrie sequences with the giant flying demon things are pretty cool too, the nice blend of CGI and Puppet work comes off great and goes well with the dark atmosphere. The movie actually does well at mixing the dark crime world with the supernatural complexes. Mark Wahlberg’s cool, but the rest of the cast’s okay. The movie’s got your pretty standard action movie elements. You’ve got your semi-surprising plot twist, your run and gun shooting, and your so-so acting, just don’t expect anything Oscar-worthy here. If you’re just looking for a pretty fun action romp for a Friday night with a neat atmosphere to it, even though there’s better stuff out there, Max Payne’s worth your $2.50 (or $5 now thanks to our Basketball team).
4 out of 5
I’d like to do a full post of the great Superbowl commercials, but for right now here are two of my favorites, both Heroes-themed, both epic-ly great.